Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
