yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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