Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
