Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize