East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
