i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
