so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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