there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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