So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
