Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
