dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
