lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Houston, we have a squirter
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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