I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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