The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
