I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
