Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
