Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
