K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's blow job season.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
