i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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