would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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