Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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