He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
