pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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