"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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