Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
