i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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