look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
