cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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