Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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