SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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