After last night, I could never be a politician.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
