he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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