talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
