I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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