im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
