i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
