I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
