why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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