i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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