I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
