I think my fart just growled at me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
