I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
