i barfeds in our rink
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
