so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
only you would photoshop your dick
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
whose ass print is on the piano?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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