Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
