I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You smell like stripper and shame
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
