I heard we made out
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
NoShamevember. You game?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
