it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
