Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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