I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
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this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom