he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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