we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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