Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
