Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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