I wish I only lived at night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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