I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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