so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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