Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
