so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
