why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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